Wednesday was one of the worst days of my life. Shortly after I returning to work from lunch, I was called to a conference room and told I was being terminated immediately. I lost my job.
Really, I never saw it coming. I was so proud of being a paralegal for this firm and even thought it was in a section of law that did not particularly interest me, I was committed to mastering all I needed to know about it. When I came to work, I went to work. I had a continuously increasing caseload and I wanted to not only keep up, I wanted to be on top of every case and know it inside and out. In my termination meeting, I was told I did an excellent job and that I was a great paralegal. My work product and productivity were not an issue.
I was being fired for “the little things” that they believed showed a “lack of commitment to the firm”. Other employees stated I was “away from my desk for long periods of time, my whereabouts unknown”. Where was I? If I was billing clients for nearly all of the time I was at work, would It not make sense that if I were away from my desk, I was somewhere doing work? I was accused of refusing to follow rules, but when infractions had been brought to my attention, I corrected them immediately. Despite defending myself for nearly a half hour, it was to no avail.
I feel like I never got my chance to shine. I was doing everything I was supposed to do for my clients but either it was not yet time for that to be seen by the powers that be, or it simply went unrecognized. Everything I did wrong and every minor mishap seemed to be noticed, but I never once was commended on work I did well. And since the majority of my work was approved to go out, I must have done something right.
I don’t expect my supervisors to shower me with praise. But it’s nice to know they notice the things you do right as well as the mistakes you make. I believe I was more in love with the idea of being back in a law office than I was with my actual job. Perhaps I have realized now I can do it, I just need to find the right place. It’s still humiliating and disappointing and the burden of starting all over with the job hunt really sucks. But I will do it. I have to do it.
Roots, Credit & Life 